Pan Am Training (humor)

We had another great night of Pan-Am training at Brentwood Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Rounds and rounds of grip fighting, takedowns, sweeps, and submissions.

However the real party didn't start until we began to roll. Jeremy, who normally hides his sadistic streak, let it run wild by having us roll with RANDOM time limits - so you had no idea how to pace your game. And since this is Pan-Am training it was "all A Game all the time." I think he was envious of me rockin' my new Shoyoroll 7th Son Gi and looking so fly - because when I partnered up with the biggest meanest dude in the class he let the clock run....and run....and run....and run. And then we rolled some more. I survived (somewhat) and I'm not bitter or plotting my revenge or anything like that (honest).

It was a night of really special fun. But I do not know how much longer I can keep this up. I could not bend my body to fit into my car so I had to hang my upper half out the window in the sub-zero temperature. The drive home was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop.  When I absolutely had to stop, my body flopped forward into the steering wheel and subsequently the horn. That was probably a good thing as the people on the sidewalk then knew to get out of my way.( It is amazing how surprised people seem to be when somebody drives on the sidewalk - it happens all the time in the movies). When I finally got home I parked on top of something but I was too tired to see what it was. I hope it isn't a body.

The shower felt like I was being beaten with little demon ice picks. I could not hold onto the soap, but that was OK since I was already curled up in the fetal position on the floor - as my body spasmed and twitched I worked up a rather nice lather. I couldn't make my toothbrush reach my mouth but I managed to squirt some toothpaste onto the counter and since my tongue  thankfully still worked simply licked it up and chewed - mmmm, minty fresh now.

After my evening ablutions, I suddenly had the urge to inspect the cleanliness of my carpet up close and personal. I do not think my internal organs are where they should be and my bones have also been rearranged. This makes rising more than three inches off the floor now that I am done with my inspection an impossibility. The bed is way too far from the floor to ever make it but I managed to crawl over to the desk and pull my laptop down and start typing this post with my middle right toe - it is taking a while, but I'm not going anywhere tonight.

If I start at sunrise, I may be able to crawl to the gym before training starts tomorrow night!