Does Jiu Jitsu Happen TO You or WITH You?

(Waxing philosophical in this post - 
Some days I feel like jiu jitsu is happening to me. Other days I feel like I am happening to jiu jitsu. I want to get to the point where I feel like jiu jitsu is happening with me. Let me explain...)

When you first start out and step on the mats jiu jitsu is happening all around you. You grasp at it, try and get your body and mind to understand it, and watch it slip through your fingers time after time. When you roll you spend the majority of your time fighting against it trying to survive, like trying to tread water in a stormy sea. You feel like jiu jitsu is something that happens to you rather than something that happens with you.

Slowly you learn how to survive without fighting so much. Jiu jitsu is still happening all around you. Only now you know enough to want to bend it to your will. You examine and experiment with everything (techniques) and begin to recognize the flow of jiu jitsu. You can select the appropriate technique for many situations as they arise. You discover that pressure can force a change in the flow (effective but not efficient). Making YOUR jiu jitsu happen the way you want it to is still elusive. It seems so hard - you spend a lot of time and expend a lot of energy fighting to make it conform to where you want it to go (passes, sweeps and submissions). Jiu jitsu is no longer happening to you - YOU are now something that happens to Jiu jitsu.

At some point you start to realize that pressure is part of the flow and all this fighting to make YOUR jiu jitsu happen is wasteful. You become aware that jiu jitsu is happening all around you regardless of you making it happen. You start to see the ebb and flow of it and recognize where YOUR jiu jitsu is within it. In any given moment you can recognize where it is going and seize the advantage (timing and sensitivity) - you apply pressure economically to stay close to YOUR jiu jitsu, set up the pass and you are ready to attack sweeps and submissions as soon as they appear. Jiu jitsu happens and you are there with it.

As your sensitivity grows you begin to see how you can surf the flow of jiu jitsu. You are able to see four or five techniques into the future and can move through a series of techniques that takes you where you want to go. YOUR jiu jitsu is now very broad - there are very few places where you feel uncomfortable with the flow. With seemingly minimal effort you pass and can make sweep and submission opportunities appear when you want them to. Jiu jitsu is now something that happens with you.

(...When I am rolling lower belts, I generally feel like jiu jitsu is happening with me. When I am rolling at my level, I feel like I am always forcing it and I am happening to jiu jitsu. When I roll with upper belts, I feel like jiu jitsu is happening to me and there is not much I can do about it. How about you?)