Instructionals can be great tool, but just watching and taking notes doesn't do much for you. It is just like somebody showing up for 3 months of classes twice a week and just watching from the side. At the end of those 3 months they hop on the mat and find they can't really do anything. You have to do more than just watch.
For new material, you need to pick just one or two techniques and get one of your buddies to drill them with you (just like you would do in class). Go back and watch the video and continue drilling the technique(s), try it rolling with newer guys until you can add it to your arsenal on guys at your level. Rinse and repeat with a new selection of 1 or 2 techniques. It may take you 6 months or longer to work through all the techniques on a DVD (and there may be techniques on there that are just not right for your game with your body type/attributes or at your current skill level).
You can target certain holes in your game by looking for specific instructionals that address your problem area. But the drilling and adding to your game part stays the same - you have to bring it to the mat for a lot of reps before you really "get it."
Instructionals are also great for reviewing techniques you already know. It's like being able to ask your instructor "can we go over that cool kimura set-up to the half guard sweep?" in the comfort of your living room. And you can ask the question again and again and again without feeling like a complete nitwit.
One caveat concerning the stuff you may find on the internet. The quality of "instruction" can vary greatly and there are even some frequent posters on YouTube with good production values who couldn't grapple their way out of a paper bag. Try to make sure your sources are legit.
So in summary:
Pick only one or two things to work on at a time.
Take it to the mat and drill it.
Introduce it to your rolling
Rinse and repeat
Just like what you have to do with techniques you are learning with your instructor. As a final point, if you find yourself watching instructionals when you could be at class or open mat - You're doing it wrong! :-)
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